My darling,
I write to you today with a heavy heart. Today I have to do something which is probably the hardest thing I've done in my life. Yes, this is harder than even moving to Finland.Today I will give up Prince.
I haven't told you much about Prince. He is our litle puppy and I think to help you understand why this decision is so hard for me, I should start right at the beginning.
Ever since I was a little girl, there have been two things I've wanted. A little brother or a dog. I remember writing letters to God telling Him how He gave Sarah a baby at the age of 99 so He could give my mum a baby too! But it didn't seem like that was His plan. So my next request was a dog.I am a HUGE animal lover. It is my dream one day in the future to work with animal rescuse shelters and maybe one day have one of my own. So after years of me whining about how I want a dog, my parents were compassionate and got me one.
He was called Rusty. A beautiful golden brown cockerspaniel. I loved him
and he was full of life and energy and in fact, TOO much energy for us
to handle! Our lifestyle was so busy and my parents traveled quite a lot
for work and I had to stay at home alone with Rusty and it was becoming
hard for us and mostly, for him. One day we had planned to go for a
holiday together as a family (for me, this was my first holiday after
months and months!) and suddenly the person who was to look after Rusty
while we were gone, was unable to. Then we were left with the decision,
do we cancel our holiday or what? I think it was then that we realized
maybe Rusty would be happier in another home with a different kind of
lifestyle. It was a quick decision but within hours we found a new home
for him! A miracle I know! God was so good to take care of Rusty. And
trust me, he now resides with a wonderful old couple who absolutely love
and adore him and he is a hundred times happier there than he was with
us. So THAT makes me happy!
But giving up Rusty was hard. And even after that for
years and years my desire for a dog never left. It was one thing I
desired even more than a husband. So my mother would always say,
'Keshia, a dog would be very unhappy living with us right now given our
busy lifestyle. But when you get your own house and family, I'm sure you
can have a dog!'
But coming to the present. I got married and was extremely happy and then we moved to Finland and things were not so easy for me after that. Being the only child, you would expect me to have found a way to deal with loneliness, and even I thought I did, but in Finland I experienced such a deep sense of loneliness that I have never experienced anywhere else. Daddy was so good to me and did everything he could to make me happy but even he couldn't help me in some things. I felt like an outsider who was just a big inconvenience to people around me. I didn't have anything of mine. No job, no friends, no family. I felt empty and above all, rejected. People would completely ignore me and speak in Finnish around me as if I didn't exist, unconcerned that I couldn't understand or be involved. I broke into a million pieces. It was a very hard time in my life. And at the beginning of 2012, I told God I wanted a dog. I needed a companion who was mine. Who spoke MY language. Whom I could love and who would love me irregardless of my skin colour or my personality. Even daddy was supportive of getting a dog, so we prayed for a LONG time. And in April 2012, we had the peace in our hearts to get a dog. But I felt this voice saying to me, 'You won't have him by his 1st birthday' I couldn't understand what that meant. But because we had peace in our hearts we went ahead and started looking and we found the perfect dog, Prince! My lifelong dream had finally come true!
Prince was a gorgeous black & tan Miniature Pinscher and he came into our house in June 2012. I can't give you all the details because there are tooo many! But he made my life exciting, happy and warm. He taught daddy and I a lot about God, ourselves and raising kids. Prince was extremely smart and intelligent and always kept challenging us with his headstrong nature. I can easily say, we picked a dog to perfectly match me. He is a brave little fellow even though he is so small. He rules any dog park we go to, dominating german shepherds and pitbulls. He loves to be energetic and active and he appreciates challenges. He LOVES to eat! He loves people and is very affectionate towards them. He is very caring and loyal to daddy and I. If ever we sneeze or show we are in pain, he comes by our side to check on us and leaves only when we tell him we are ok. But above all, he is absolutely adorable!
Sometimes when he is there and people are jabbering in Finnish around
me, I shut out their voices and it's just me and Prince. Or after a
long day, I know ok, I'll get through this horrible day so that I can
get home and see Prince. Sometimes he is the motivation I need to get
out of bed and get moving in this horrible weather outside. He made my
life in Finland bearable and I will forever be grateful to God for
blessing me with him.
But now comes the hard part.
Daddy and I have been thinking alot about our future and what should we
do next. Our time in Finland is drawing to a close and we were praying
about what should we do next. We both felt like God wanted us to spend
our next year in Sri Lanka and then we felt like we should move to
Australia. I was so excited to be able to take Prince to Sri Lanka
because I know how much he appreciates sunlight and warmth (like me!!)
but then we found out that taking a dog to Australia is like breaking
out of a prison. Painfully hard and takes a lot of time and effort.
Prince would have to be quarentined for over 7 months. 7 months away
from us in an unknown place. I think that would break his heart. 
So I asked God, 'What should we do?? What do YOU want from me?' I'm
always scared to ask God this. I'm being honest. Because usually His
answer is not the one I want to hear. But I have learned that His ways
have always been the best for me. I think something is gonna be good for
me, but then I choose to obey Him instead and it may be hard at first,
but afterwards it ALL makes sense and I know I couldn't have gone down a
better road. So with great hesitation, I asked Him. And just as I
expected, He replied, 'I gave you Prince for a season. He fulfilled his
purpose in that season but now it's time to find a new home for Prince' I
shared with daddy what God spoke to me and we broke down in tears
together. We sat on the bed crying throughout the night because this
decision took all of our strength and will. But finally when we both
agreed, 'Ok, God loves Prince more than we do. He wants the best for
Prince and so do we. And if we obey Him, not only will our lives go
smoother, but Prince will be happier than ever. It's time to find a new
home for him' The moment we made that decision together this strange
sense of peace came over our hearts. Yes, this was the right thing to
do. Painfully hard but right. So we spoke to Prince's breeder and asked if she could maybe ask around if anyone would like to take in Prince and within a few hours (amazing, right??) we already had two people who were interested. And we met one them and she was such a lovely lady who already had another min pin and when we met her for the first time, Prince absolutely adored her! He even tried to leave with her! And I cannot express how much joy I had in my heart just seeing that! God is so faithful and good :)
But
of course, all this joy cannot take away the pain of losing him. I will
miss him everyday. His cute little ways and the love he exhumes. But
daddy and I have made a decision to be strong. We have made a decision
to do what pleases God, not us. We have dedicated our lives to serving
Him and if that means I have to give up my most prized possesion, I will
do that.Today is our last day with Prince. And we love him and will never ever forget what he brought into our lives, especially mine.
But remember this baby girl, NOTHING on this earth, no boy, no dream, no job, no dog, no anything, is worth ignoring God's will! Nothing will bring you greater joy or peace. God loves you and wants the absolute best for you, so don't settle for anything less!
We love you and because of you, we want to be the best people we can be!
Love,
Mummy
