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Friday, February 22, 2013

Soul Detox

To my baby girl,

You know that feeling when you get home after a long, tiring day and you have a nice warm shower, wear some nice perfume and just sit there smelling nice and feeling clean and refreshed? I LOVE that feeling. It's honestly one of the nicest feelings in the world. And it left me with the thought, how often do we do this with our souls?

During our lives we fill our souls with many things. We fill it with images and sounds and feelings and memories and not all of the things we fill it with are healthy. In fact, we underestimate the power of our souls. We underestimate how important the condition of our soul is for a healthy, happy and purposeful life.

Our soul is like a plant. If we give it enough sunlight, water and nutrients, it will grow and live long and live happily. If all we do is pour mass amounts of toxins on it, it will die.

So I sat down and I asked myself, what am I feeding my soul with? I took a REALLY good look at the things I was injecting into my life and I decided to make some radical changes.

The first thing that came in to my mind was music. Music for the soul they say. Music has a very strange way of creeping into your soul and into your head and one day you will be walking down the street humming a tune and then you stop for a second and ask yourself, 'Hey where did that THAT come from?' so I took a good look at the songs that I listened to and the lyrics and message they portrayed. Do I really agree with what I am listening to? Is this artist someone who endorses or opposes my values and beliefs about life and people? If everything this person is saying goes against who I am, then WHY am I listening to it? It's kind of like saying, I will enjoy listening to my boss screaming at me in filth, as long as there is a good beat playing in the background.



The next thing I discarded from my life are movies and tv shows. Entertainment, we call it. I'm someone who LOVES watching movies. It used to be my way of relaxing and destressing. But I took a good long look at what I watch. Almost every single movie or tv show promotes sex outside of marriage, violence, disrespect, revenge, dishonesty, hate, injustice, foul language and twisted family values. You are lucky if you find ONE movie today that you can sit and watch with a 5 year old that will not teach them something bad. And we are fools if we sit and watch them and then walk away thinking 'Yes, I may not agree with that but it's only a movie' All that bad language you just heard, would you accept your 15 year old daughter talking like that at home? If your answer is no, then why do you tolerate a strange man or woman shouting filth into your home through a little box? If your answer is yes, you need to have your head examined. I feel like if I truly care about my soul, and if I have a choice in the matter, I don't want to fill it with images and sounds of everything I speak and stand against.


Eat Up!


Trash belongs in the trash bin.
Personally, one of the biggest changes I made was to quit facebook. I felt like facebook was a deadly parasite. It leached onto you and sucked out your life. It somehow made my perspective very narrow and limited. While many praise facebook for helping people to stay connected and build relationships, I have actually seen it do a lot of damage to relationships. I have heard people say 'It's not official until it's on facebook' And when I hear that I just want to cringe, because of how shallow life has become that even a relationship between a man and a woman is not valid unless it is on facebook. Facebook has just become a means to pry our noses into other people's lives and give opportunities for others to pry their noses into ours. It has stolen a lot of our precious time and has devlaued relationships to the extent that people barely talk anymore. They just poke each other like idiots and 'like' and comment on pictures of us doing lame poses in front of mirrors. It has become an excellent tool for men and women to prey on each other, leaving aside young children. It has also become a convenient sidekick for those who enjoy being unfaithful to their partners. It has become many things over the years and for me, it has become a giant drain on my soul. Some days when I log on to facebook and see the things that come on my homepage, facepalming myself is not enough. I wanted to be free of that curse.



Finally one of the major changes I made in my life was my diet and exercise. Food  and exercise are more for the body, I do agree. But a healthy body definitely contributes towards a healthy soul. And this requires a lot of discipline and the ability to say NO. This is very hard when you live in a country like Sri Lanka, where there is good food everywhere and every lady you meet over the age of 30, the first words that comes out of their mouth are 'eat eat eat'. But you have to learn to say no. I am strongly against starving ones self. You must eat well, but you must also eat healthy and over the last 1 and half months I've been working on disciplining my mind and body so that eventually, I would have a healthy soul. This means waking up a little earlier than usual to workout before going to work or saying no to the super yummy sweets or choosing to eat bran crackers for a snack (which taste like concrete) vs eating chips. All decisions you have to make everyday and consistently. But discipline for the mind, body and soul will take you far in this life.


 Anyway, I have to say life is wonderful. I was telling daddy, I feel like a completely different person. Like someone has dunked me in a big bowl of sunshine and rainbows. I feel light and free. Like nothing is holding me down anymore :)

But I have to say all credit goes to God, who has given me a new start in life. I have been drawing closer to Him now than I have been before and no matter what kind of challenge or circumstance Daddy & I have faced up to this point, He has given us the grace to face them all with our heads lifted high.  

And I leave you with this. Something I found quite alarming when I made the decision to quit facebook, was that SO many people wrote back to me saying 'I admire you for making this decision. I have wanted to quit facebook also but I've never really had the courage to do so' And it made me feel a little sad inside. Not because it had anything to do with facebook, but because I realized that too many people have the power to be free of the things that are holding them down but don't have the courage to. I guess somehow they feel like they might lose a part of themselves which has for many years so strongly defined them. But those very things that they hold on so tightly to, could be the very things that may eventually erode away on their souls and their lives.

So I encourage you, my love, don't allow material and worldly things to define you. Find yourself in Christ. For unlike this world, He never changes. He is rock solid and He is always faithful. Rid yourself and your life of things that will hold you down and things that you don't even agree with. You don't have to carry the burden and pressures and expectations of this world.

Be free. Be young. Be beautiful.



Love,
Mummy

Saturday, February 9, 2013

'How can YOU not see it?'



Good morning, my darling...

So I work on Saturdays. I find that most tiresome and at first, I would complain about it and whine about it and oh poor me, working on the weekend.

However, today in the morning when I was talking to God, I asked Him to help me see things differently. To open my eyes to the things I have missed before. And you know how people say that God takes forever to reply their questions or answer their requests? I guess we just ask the wrong question and ask for the wrong things because He worked lightening fast with my request.

So I was in my little trishaw on the way to work, when I learned 3 beautiful lessons. I like to call it being schooled in a Trishaw.



1.      The Garbage Truck
So we passed by the garbage truck on the way to work and, oh my word, it seriously stunk. Garbage trucks in Sri Lanka look like this. And there are about 5 or 6 men in that truck. They shout ‘kunuuuuuu’ at the top of their voice which means ‘garbage’ in Sinhala and they slowly make their way down the street picking up garbage from all the houses. Now just driving past that truck made me feel sick because of the stench, but imagine having to stay with that truck the whole day? I immediately felt so much gratitude towards those men who did that for us. And on top of that, I felt so much shame for complaining about me having to work on Saturday. How dare I complain when there are people out there who have much more challenging jobs in much more challenging environments. 

Note to myself: Someone, somewhere, is having a much worse day than me. Thus, I must over myself. 

2.      The Mother that Waits
And then I passed this school and I saw a lot of women sitting outside in the sun, waiting. At first I was wondering, why are these women sitting out here for?? And then I realized, they are waiting for their daughters to finish classes. Ok, so for some people this may be hard to understand, but it’s not a safe world anymore for young girls. Especially in a country like Sri Lanka, where you can’t get into a bus or train or even walk on the road without some ignorant man groping you or passing crude remarks. If I had a daughter, I would be mortified to send her alone anywhere after what I have seen and experienced. And I realized that most of those women have probably brought their young daughters to school and wait for them to finish and bring them back home, because maybe it’s too much of a distance for them to go and come back later to pick them up. And inside of me, my heart welled with pride and gratitude. Proud of these amazing women who don’t mind sitting out there in the sun waiting for their children, simply because they want to make sure their daughters get home safely. But that’s what parents do for their kids. They sacrifice for them. And in that moment, I just thanked God from the bottom of my heart for MY parents who have sacrificed more than I even know. Many times I have not even appreciated it, but I just really thanked God for them and blessed them for all they did for me. I truly hope and pray that I can do the same and more for you, my precious.  

Note to myself: If I can’t sacrifice, I can’t love. And if I can’t love, then…I might as well dig a hole and stick my head in it. Like an ostrich.

3.      Watch Out for the Humps!
Everyday my trishaw driver complains that he has to keep fixing his trishaw. I am not surprised because of how he drives over humps and potholes as if his trishaw is Super Bunny or something. It’s almost like he is blind. Seriously. And I was quietly asking God, ‘HOW can this man not see that his trishaw keeps breaking down because of how reckless and ignorant his driving is?? HOW can he not see that? WHY won’t he just slow down a bit?’ And God asked me ‘HOW can you not see that the lack of appreciation and gratitude in your life causes yourself and your relationships to hurt? How can YOU not see that? WHY don’t you slow down a bit to hear my voice and follow My lead?’ You know it is God speaking to you when He answers your question with another question!

            Note to myself: Be still. Be patient. Always be thankful. Always.

            2nd note to myself: Get the trishaw driver some glasses.

So now here I am work, happy as a beetle. Looking forward to what this day brings. Looking around me for more things to learn.

So I encourage you, my love. Don’t settle for a routine. There are always new things to learn, new things to experience and new things to work on in our lives.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 (NLT)

I love you.
Mummy

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

A Good Wife.

To my darling,

I've always been a little confused of the definition of a good wife. There are so many definitions floating around out there and sometimes it's overwhelming and discouraging trying to figure out who I'm supposed to be.

I have to admit, it's easy to become insecure and unsure of yourself as a woman in today's day and age. There are so many false and unrealistic images of the perfect woman or the perfect wife that too many women have forgotten what they are REALLY supposed to be like.

So I went to the one place I always find a sure answer - the Bible. And this is what I found in Proverbs 31...


So at first I was like...dude. That's one amazing woman! It's almost too good to be true! But I took a moment to translate it to today's context...

A good woman is hard to find and is worth more than diamonds,
Her husband can trust her and she doesn't betray his trust
She isn't mean or harsh to him, but gives him her all without holding anything back
She believes in giving her family the best of everything
She doesn't mind going the extra mile to bring her family joy, laughter and excitement
She doesn't sleep away the day and makes sure her family is well cared for
She wakes up each morning with a mission and a purpose
She knows how to save and invest money wisely
She is an enthusiastic worker and doesn't complain about her work
She works hard to maintain a loving and beautiful home
She is compassionate and is always ready to help those in need
She doesn't need to worry about her family because she has prepared in advance for the tough times
She puts her creativity to good use and makes her own money
She may not be a supermodel but she dresses attractively and her joy and positivity make her truly beautiful
She speaks with kindness and wisdom
She is aware of what goes on in her own home and encourages her family to be the best versions of themselves
And above all, she fears God.

The results are pretty obvious. A very happy family.

I remember when your daddy and I first got married, I had absolutely no idea how to cook. In fact, the mere thought of cooking made me lose my appetite. I was never interested in being a 'house-wife'. I always wanted a career and a life filled with excitement and traveling. Staying at home and doing laundry was not part of the plan. But somewhere in the first few months of marriage, God humbled me. He broke my proud heart and through a lot of tough experiences, I learned humility. I learned putting someone else's needs and wants above my own petty ideas. So, I learned to cook. I learned to keep a house, I learned about saving money and most of all, I learned to be unselfish. 

But even today I looked at all those things and thought, 'Wow I have a lot to change within myself if I want to be this kind of woman' Because what I truly desire now, more than a career or my own personal ambitions, is to be a godly woman. A woman that my husband and future kids can look at and say 'Many women have done wonderful things, but you have outclassed them all!' Not because of my cooking or my beauty or any other such thing, but because I fear God and it can be seen in my life.

If you are married, and you want to have a happy marriage, the first question you need to ask yourself is 'What can I do for him?' Too many marriages are focused on 'What can my husband do for me?' or 'What isn't my husband doing for me?' It is quite apparent here that the woman spoken about in this proverb had a very happy husband and children who loved and adored her, so she clearly must be doing something right! It goes without saying that husbands need to do their part too, but I am not responsible for that. I am responsible for doing my part. And I want to do my part very well.

Now don't get discouraged. You don't need to know everything about everything and be super awesome at everything you do. But the key is to try, and to try hard. Always be willing to learn and be courageous. Don't allow the fear of failure to keep you from trying. This is what I drill into my head everyday. I am quite terrible at sewing. In fact, I don't enjoy it at all. If I have a hole in my sock, I do not sew it, I buy a new pair of socks. Ha. But one decision I made after reading this was, I'm going to sew. I'm going to learn somehow and I'm going to do my best to be good at at it and enjoy it. So my first project is sewing daddy and I some bedsheets. But I remember how terrible I was at cooking and baking but with practice and a lot of encouragement, I learned and today I enjoy it ever so much!

So one day,  you too, will be a wife. And while this world tries to trick you into thinking that the happiness of your marriages lies in what your husband does or does not do for you, don't be deceived. You do your best to be the BEST-EST wife you can possibly be! Try and make your weak areas stronger and be humble in your strengths. Love, respect and honour him. Be trustworthy and generous. Work hard to keep yourself healthy and fit and work hard in general. Put your talents to good use and try and learn new things each day. Be diligent in your job and become successful in your career. Cook for your family, encourage your family and be a source of strength and joy to them! Most importantly, have a deep, intimate relationship with your Heavenly Father and let Him mold you and make you into the woman He has created you to be!

I love you, my precious. You inspire me even though you are not yet here. So thank you for that.

Love,
Mummy