You will not discriminate.

Dear baby girl,

Today I will write to you about something that is very hard for me to write because it means I have to dig deep into some of my hardest and possibly painful memories. Nevertheless, I must write about it because you must know. You mustn’t be shielded and hidden from unpleasant things. You must know them and understand the seriousness of these issues so that you never inflict those things upon others.

When mummy was a little girl, maybe around 4 or 5, my family moved to Australia. My parents were to study there and I went to school. My first year in Australia was a very hard one. When I went there I was a quiet, timid little girl. I had short, black, curly hair and I looked like a little boy. I was probably one of the 4 dark-skinned kids in my school. And of course, I was bullied for it. 

Mummy's first day of school, in Aussie

 They would call me names, compare me to shit, call me a boy, insult my parents, insult my God, even insult my grandmother. They would push me around or completely ignore me. So I spent most of my lunch breaks alone, walking around the big school. Or I had a small bush which I would eat my lunch in. I found comfort and solace in hiding.

But to make things worse, it wasn’t just the children. In my first grade, my own class teacher bullied me. She would keep me in the ‘dark room’ (the room where kids were put when they were punished) for no reason and make me write my ABC’s even though I knew how to read & write already. Once when someone in my class suggested that I should be made class monitor, she said no. Why? Because apparently I was stupid. Even though my reading, writing and spelling skills were far better than the other kids in my class. Thank God, my parents had me removed from that class and after taking a small test I was promoted to grade 2 in the middle of the year.

I was very scared as a little girl. I hated white people. I hated how they thought they were far superior than me simply because their skin was a lighter shade. I vowed that I would never marry a white man. I had been wounded too much as a little girl. And I believe the scars you receive when you are a small child are the ones hardest to heal.

But I grew up. I had to forgive those children and adults who hurt me. Instead of expecting them to change their thinking, I first had to change my thinking. I had to accept that all white people are not hurtful. All white people are not cruel and selfish and are not ignorant. In fact, they are beautifully human just like me. Now who I am married to? A Finn.

But this is what I have to tell you. As my daughter, you will not discriminate. You will not judge a man or woman or child by the colour of their skin. You will not look down on people because of their culture. You will never mock, joke or insult another human being because of where they come from. You will love people no matter how different they are from you. They did not choose the colour of their skin, or the country they were born in or the accent which they have, therefore you will NEVER mock them, insult them or humiliate them because of it. Do you understand me? You will also never think you are above anybody in this world. Because you are not. It doesn’t matter if you are the queen of a country, nobody is beneath you that you cannot respect their humanity. And when you see people being put down, you will stand up for them. You will not tolerate racism. Why? Because when I was being bullied, nobody stood up for me. And I cannot explain to you how much that hurt.

Love people. Be different. Think differently. I have faith that you will grow up with character and integrity and most of all, a heart for people.

I will love you always,

Mummy

Daddy is the best husband I could ask for  <3