Brown & beautiful, baby!

Hey baby girl,

It’s been a couple of busy days these last few days. Mummy’s parents are here! And it’s quite exciting!

However, today I saw a video a young boy had posted on youtube. It seems he has been bullied throughout his school life.(Video here: 'What's Going On?" )While watching this video, I remembered the times I have been bullied myself in school.

As I have told you in one of my earlier letters, when I was in Australia, during my first year I was bullied for having dark skin and looking like a little boy. It was hard at first because I was a very timid girl back then. But I learned to fight back and overcome those insults.

Mummy, age 5 or 6, in Aussie

And I thought when I go back to Sri Lanka, my home, people would accept me. But sadly, they were even more narrow-minded.  A common mindset in Asian countries and one which I find utterly disgusting, is that fair is beautiful. So you can imagine how darker girls get overlooked very easily. So when I went back to school in Sri Lanka, my home, I was STILL bullied for having dark skin. Some famous nicknames I had were “Kalu Kella” (Black girl) or “Kalu Kaakka” (Black crow). Naturally I was confused. How could these people, my own people, look and talk about me this way? I just got back from Australia hoping that the bullying would end. So for some years in school, this continued. I laughed on the outside, but on the inside I started hating my skin colour. I felt ugly and angry. All I would think was why did God make me this colour? Why am I so ugly?

It took me a long time to become comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t want to hate myself anymore. It was too exhausting and I was wasting precious time! I needed to be sure of who I was and I needed to love it, because until I was sure and until I loved myself, nobody else would either. It took me a long time to realize that no matter what other people say, the truth cannot be changed. And the truth is that I am beautiful, chocolate skin and all! Why is this the truth? Because in the Bible, David tells God, in Psalm 139,

 ¹³ You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
      and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 ¹⁴ Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
      Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it

In the same way, God took trouble to put me together. He carefully chose every part of me and with skill He put it all together and He looked at me and said, “Oh this is perfect!”

So I could either choose to listen to the lies of mere mortal humans or believe the most beautiful truth that God Himself made me wonderfully complex and marvelous! And let me tell you darling, the truth sets you free!

Brown and beautiful, baby! WOOT!

 Now why do I tell you this? Because someday, I’m sure you are going to stand in front of the mirror and criticize your nose or your hair or your eyes or your body. But in those moments, I want you to remember who created you. You were not a haphazard mistake. You were wonderfully and marvelously knit together. You are a masterpiece, my baby! And no words or comments from other people will or can change that.

Now I’m not only talking about your looks. I’m talking about the labels people give us. Those people didn’t create you. Therefore, they have no right to decide on your behalf who you will be. But the truth is, we cannot stop or control people from airing their opinions or passing out their insensitive comments. The only thing we can control is whether we choose to believe them or not.

Something that I constantly try to do, is if someone says something mean or harsh to or about me, I go to God’s word and see what He says about me. Because what He says about me is always uplifting and encouraging and true. And when you soak yourself in the truth, all these external lies lose their power on you. It’s such an amazing feeling knowing that God who is Heaven, thinks about YOU! :)

Remember darling, your failure or success in life lies in what you believe. So choose carefully what you believe and always seek out the truth!

You are beautiful, not because you are my daughter, but because you are firstly God’s daughter.

Love always,

Mummy

Cover it up, girl.

Hey baby girl,

I’ve been troubled by something. Thus I’m going to share it with you. Listen carefully.

In today’s world, you can’t walk down the street, watch a movie, listen to a song on the radio, browse through a magazine without seeing a half-naked woman plastered all over it. Girls in skimpy little outfits exposing everything that is precious and should be treasured. Why? Because apparently it attracts buyers. Men mostly.

But the thing is, those pictures of girls, they are not just pictures. They are actual women. Somebody’s daughter. Somebody’s sister. Somebody’s mother. They are very human, just like me and just like you. And when people look at those images, very rarely do they remember that.I'm sure at least 90% of men would be ashamed to see their mother or daughter or even sister pose nude on a poster.

However people argue saying, well, if you got it, flaunt it. NO. If you got it, be damn grateful you have it and protect it. Your body is yours. You should be respecting it and honouring it. I mean how can you expect anyone else to respect you, if you can barely respect yourself? Am I being old-fashioned? No, I’m being intelligent. There is nothing old-fashioned about protecting important things. If you have a million dollars you aren’t going to run up and down the streets waving it for people to see, are you? No, if you were intelligent, you would store it safely in a bank. Only an idiot would be parading the cash, unsafely and unguarded.

Let me tell you what happens when women so carelessly walk around with barely any clothes on. It causes honorable men to fall. Contrary to popular belief, not all men are vile and disgusting. There are actually many men in this world who want to protect their minds and want to be honourable towards women. But we are so insensitive and selfish, that we think very little of how our rash actions can affect them. And what makes it worse is that when we expose all we have, and they fall, we turn around and point our fingers at them.

NO. This is our fault. We are responsible for what they see. We need to love and honour the good men in our lives by dressing appropriately. Help them. Appreciate the effort they are making to honour our dignity.

Would you run around on the beach in your underwear? Hopefully not. So why would you wear a bikini then? Doesn’t it cover up only as much as underwear would? We give names to things and we try to mask how things really are. But let’s face it. Women are just as, if not more responsible for the damage caused to our society by sex. We are trying so hard to be ‘attractive’ but there is nothing attractive about a woman who has no self-respect or dignity!

I’m not afraid to offend women all over the world. You're worth a million dollars so cover that body up, girl.

Honour men, by honouring yourself, my darling.

I will love you always,

Mummy.

P.S.- I love this song 'cos it's sung by a real man.