I remember
when I was a kid I went with some friends to this amusement park. And we were
on this ride which just went round and round and it got faster and faster. But
all it did was go round. And somewhere in the middle of it, I started feeling
sick in my stomach. And I was wondering what is the point of this? Why am I even
on this ride? I just wanted to jump off but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t stop. And I
remember someone saying, don’t close your eyes and don’t look around just look
at the ground. You will feel better. And strangely, I did.
And some
mornings I wake up, and I ask myself the same question. Why am I living? Why am
I here? Because some days it’s easy to forget the reason. Some days it’s easier
to close my eyes again and hide in bed. Some days I hear only silence and
echoes. Some days I just want to go back home. Some days I just want to scream
and cry but I don’t have enough energy. Some days I just need someone to tell
me that I’ll make it through. Some days I need hope.
And on
those days, I’m tempted to close my eyes. I’m tempted to give up and walk away.
But then I hear this still, small voice saying, “Don’t close your eyes. Don’t
look around you. Look at me.” And in those moments, He gives me the patience
and the grace to live that day and the day after that. He reminds me He loves
me. He reminds me my life is not just for me. He reminds me that there are more
broken souls to be touched, more broken hearts to be fixed. He reminds me that
He is always here with me.
So when you
feel tempted to give up or run away, look at Jesus.
Secondly,
today is ‘Valentine’s Day’. Another pointless day people celebrate by spending
ridiculous amounts of money, stuffing their faces with little balls of
diabetes, getting wasted and all in the name of showing that someone ‘special’
that they love them. This is one day that disgusts me the most. Why?
Firstly, if
someone is really special to you, why are we dedicating just one day of the year
to show them our true, deep feelings? Why not lavish them with your love every
day of the year? Why not have candle-lit dinners every night? Why just today?
And then it
got me thinking about the age we live in where the whole meaning of love has
been disillusioned and corrupted by sex, the music we listen to, the movies we
watch and the moronic reality shows we follow.
We are
taught to ‘follow our heart’ and we are told that ‘it’s ok if we can’t help how
we feel’ or that ‘it’s ok to fall out of love’. People get married and divorced
at the drop of a hat. It’s almost 'cool'. And somehow everyone has
gotten very comfortable with this cycle.
I want you
to remember this. Listen to me carefully. Choose the man you are going to marry
with wisdom and obedience to God’s voice. Don’t just marry a man because he
pulls the chair out for you or holds doors open for you or because he calls you
beautiful. Don’t marry a man because he is good-looking or has a super fit
body. Don’t marry a man because he has a similar taste in music. All of those shallow things could fade. Marry a man
because after seeking God’s face, He gives you the peace and assurance in your
heart that this is the man you must spend the rest of your life with. And also
marry a man who loves Jesus with all of his heart.
After that,
no matter what obstacles come your way, you don’t give up. Why? Because you
made a promise to him and to God. There are going to be days you don’t ‘feel’
like you’re in love. It’s not going to ALWAYS be sunshine and ponies. Some of
those quirky little traits about him will become simply annoying. Some days you
won’t have anything to talk about. He may not always open doors and pull out
chairs for you. He may be insensitive some days. He may not call you beautiful
all the time. He may betray your trust. He may not meet your expectations. There
are going to be days you are going to want to walk out and quit. There are days when your 'heart' tells you to give up 'cos it's pointless. But you don’t.
Because you made a promise. We live in a generation that doesn’t keep their
word. But you must be different. If there is only one promise you make in your
life, let it be this and then keep it until you die.
You don’t
follow your heart. You follow through with the promise you made to your
partner.
People don’t
fall out of love. They just choose to stop loving the other person when things
become too difficult or uncomfortable.
You can
help how you feel. This is how you do it. You write down how you feel. Whether
it’s pain, anger, betrayal, sorrow, grief, jealousy, distrust, hopelessness,
despair, fear and the list goes on. And next to that you write down what you
need to do and what 1 Corinthians 13 says about love and then you do it, regardless
of how you feel. That is what honouring a commitment means.
And this is
the most important thing to remember. You can look at the other person and
complain about how much he has changed. But I can guarantee you this. You
changed first. This is something I as a wife struggled to accept at first. I
can’t change daddy. I can only change myself. He is not responsible for my
happiness. I am. In fact, the more I focused on changing myself and less on
changing him, he and I were both so much happier.
And
remember, marriage or any relationship is not a tit-for-tat game. You don’t
love someone because they love you. You love someone because you choose to love
that person. If we only loved people because they loved us…well, there will be
days we won’t find anyone to love. The same goes for all other qualities, like
trust, compassion, forgiveness, encouragement and the list goes on.
I am
blessed to have daddy. He is not a perfect man (thank God for that!) but he is
absolutely perfect for me and I only pray and hope that you find a prince like daddy :) After all, we only want the best for you!
But
remember, love is not a fairytale. It is nothing like the movies. In fact, it’s
even more beautiful and significant. It’s something that takes years to perfect and it requires
commitment, not feelings. So remember these little words of wisdom, I have
shared with you. Because one day when you are down in a pit of despair, they
might give you some hope.
EXCITING NEWS. Tomorrow MY mummy and daddy are coming to see me! :D WEE.
It's been 5 months since I've seen them and I've missed them a lot. You know, it's so easy to take your family for granted. That's something I've really understood these last few months.
When I came to Finland, the thing I missed most was being known and being loved for it. When I was in Sri Lanka, people knew me. They knew my name, my nature, my personality, my family. But here, I was a stranger to everyone. And I guess that was a hard thing to accept. When I was with my family, they knew me and they loved me just as I was, with all my flaws and rough edges.
My parents. My two heroes. I'm the only child. So they were all mine and I was all theirs. They have gone above and beyond their call of duty to be good parents to me. I have not always seen it, but now, I see it. They have been people of principle and faith. Loving God devotedly and serving Him faithfully. The sacrifices they have made on behalf of me and hundreds of others is unbelievable. They gave when they didn't have and they did it joyfully. I learned most from my parents by watching them, not from their lectures. They lived what they preached. They have been my pillars of strength and support throughout my life with them. They were not perfect people, but they were the perfect parents for me.
My mum and dad on my graduation :)
However, I was not always a model child. I've definitely not been an easy child to raise. There were a few years in my life when I would be considered any parent's nightmare. During my teenage years I was quite rebellious. Something I regret today. But I have learned and I have grown and I have changed. However, now when I think of you, and how much I love you and adore you, I think of how much it would be break my heart if you lied to me or hid things from me. Not because of anything else, but because of how incredibly much I love you. That's something I guess a child could never understand, until they are put in a parent's position.
Nevertheless, my parents had to watch me go from one bad decision to another. I'm sure it broke their hearts. And every time I would fall flat on my face, they would pick me up in love, not anger. I used to sit and ponder, how could my mum and dad love me so much after all the pain I put them through? Something I couldn't understand. I could talk to them about anything. Even though so many times I rejected their advice and concern, I knew I could not get through this life without them. And what bugs me is that 99% of the time, they are right. Just remember that your mummy and daddy are always right ok? :)
No, but in love, the reason why I tell you this is because someday if you are anything like mummy when she was young, you might think I'm old-fashioned and insensitive and I don't understand how you feel. But remember that mummy was young once. I have been through some valuable experiences. I've had many broken hearts, I've had addictions, I've been beaten down, bullied and ignored, I've had eating disorders and a very low self-esteem and the list goes on and on. But the good news is, by God's amazing grace, I managed to overcome those things. So in those moments you feel like, okay my mum will not understand this, think again. I may not know EXACTLY how you feel, but I will try my best to. I may advise you and you may not agree with me. That's ok. But remember the best way to learn is from another person's mistakes. So I'm laying down all my mistakes before you. Please learn from them! I'm still going to make a lot of mistakes, even as a mummy. But at the end of the day, I want to be the best mummy I can possibly be.
I can never be grateful enough to God for blessing me with such incredible parents. All I ask from Him now, is that I could be as good to you as my parents have been to me.
You are precious.
Forever yours,
Mummy <3
P.s. :- You will probably make a lot of mistakes in life. But remember, no matter what, mummy and daddy will love you unconditionally. For sure.
...and this is a song I wrote in honour of my parents and anyone who sacrifices on behalf of others...it's called 'Superman'. Enjoy :)
I’ve been
troubled by something. Thus I’m going to share it with you. Listen carefully.
In today’s
world, you can’t walk down the street, watch a movie, listen to a song on the
radio, browse through a magazine without seeing a half-naked woman plastered
all over it. Girls in skimpy little outfits exposing everything that is
precious and should be treasured. Why? Because apparently it attracts buyers. Men
mostly.
But the
thing is, those pictures of girls, they are not just pictures. They are actual
women. Somebody’s daughter. Somebody’s sister. Somebody’s mother. They are very
human, just like me and just like you. And when people look at those images,
very rarely do they remember that.I'm sure at least 90% of men would be ashamed to see their mother or daughter or even sister pose nude on a poster.
However people
argue saying, well, if you got it, flaunt it. NO. If you got it, be damn
grateful you have it and protect it. Your body is yours. You should be respecting
it and honouring it. I mean how can you expect anyone else to respect you, if
you can barely respect yourself? Am I being old-fashioned? No, I’m being
intelligent. There is nothing old-fashioned about protecting important things.
If you have a million dollars you aren’t going to run up and down the streets
waving it for people to see, are you? No, if you were intelligent, you would
store it safely in a bank. Only an idiot would be parading the cash, unsafely
and unguarded.
Let me tell
you what happens when women so carelessly walk around with barely any clothes
on. It causes honorable men to fall. Contrary to popular belief, not all men
are vile and disgusting. There are actually many men in this world who want to
protect their minds and want to be honourable towards women. But we are so
insensitive and selfish, that we think very little of how our rash actions can
affect them. And what makes it worse is that when we expose all we have, and
they fall, we turn around and point our fingers at them.
NO. This is
our fault. We are responsible for what they see. We need to love and honour the
good men in our lives by dressing appropriately. Help them. Appreciate the
effort they are making to honour our dignity.
Would you
run around on the beach in your underwear? Hopefully not. So why would you wear
a bikini then? Doesn’t it cover up only as much as underwear would? We give
names to things and we try to mask how things really are. But let’s face it. Women
are just as, if not more responsible for the damage caused to our society by
sex. We are trying so hard to be ‘attractive’ but there is nothing attractive
about a woman who has no self-respect or dignity!
I’m not
afraid to offend women all over the world. You're worth a million dollars so cover that
body up, girl.
Honour men,
by honouring yourself, my darling.
I will love
you always,
Mummy.
P.S.- I love this song 'cos it's sung by a real man.
So Christmas is coming round the corner and I am mad. Like angry mad. I was just listening to some 'Christmas' music and all they are singing about is stupid reindeer and Christmas trees and stockings and Christmas eve.
I am going to inform you now. There is no such thing as Santa Claus. I mean Santa Claus is the dumbest thing ever invented. A big, fat man in a red suit riding around the world with reindeer with red, shiny noses in ONE EVENING spreading gifts to only good children. Whoever invented this story should be given a Nobel Prize for his moronism. And of course, parents use this load of crap to entice their children into being good and well behaved. My darling, I would never insult your intelligence by trying to make you believe this rubbish.
Let me tell you what Christmas is all about. One word. SACRIFICE. Christmas is all about God sacrificing His precious and only Son to an evil and selfish world. And no, Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December. But okay, people like to make a big deal out that day. Personally, I don't care which day Jesus was born. What matters is that He was born. God trusted us humans with His beloved Son. I mean, doesn't that awe you? And look what we did to Him.
So hurrah for Christmas eve and decorations and dinners with your family and gifts and blah blah. If your Christmas is not about being a blessing to people who actually need it, then you're just wasting this precious time of year. I mean why are we spending so much money buying gifts for our family members who have pretty much everything they need, when we should be buying gifts for those less fortunate? Those kids who don't have parents or the older folk who have been forgotten by their own children. What are we doing for them? Nothing. Instead we choose to sit around a table full of people who have more than they need, selfishly laughing and being happy with each other and gobbling down tons of food which isn't even good for us! We choose to buy gifts for ourselves and our 'loved' ones instead of spending that money on someone who is not so fortunate.
NO. I am angry. I am sad. Christmas is NOT Christmas if you are not helping someone else. I mean of course you should spend it with your family, but it shouldn't end there. There are more people in this world than just our family!
So let me inform you, that when you are born into our family, we will not be spending our Christmas wasting money and time and energy on decorations and stuffing food down our throats. We will be a blessing to those less fortunate. Because when God asks me at the end of my life, what did you do during Christmas? I do not want to answer Him, 'Errr I bought a Christmas tree'. Nice. God gave to me. I need to give to others.
Baby girl, doesn't matter how old you are....work hard, work with integrity and work with passion! This 15 year old boy, Brian "Astro" Bradley, inspires me :)
So yesterday mummy was feeling kinda down and I was listening to this song and it made me smile on the inside :) Someday if you are feeling sad, here it is...
So yesterday daddy and I have been married for 4 months! *does a celebratory dance*
So in honour of that I have made a small list of some (not all, obviously!) of the things that I love about your daddy...
1. The scrunchy face he makes when he thinks
2. The boyish excitement he exhumes when a cool car passes by
3. The wierd things he does in his sleep (sing, yell things in Finnish, peek over the sides of the bed for no apparent reason, poke me in the eye etc.)
4. How he kisses me and says 'thank you' every morning after breakfast
5. How much he loves God
6. How he tolerates my utter ridiculouness
7. How when we fight he slowly comes and tries to hold my hand
8. How he steals the quilt at night (I'm kidding, it bugs me like nothing)
9. The way he checks out his biceps randomly while talking to me
10. His cute little text messages during the day
11. His hair flip
12. His little dance to Justin Timberlake's song, 'My Love'
13. His penguin & chicken dance
14. The lame jokes he cracks
15. The way he sighs after a lame joke and goes 'okay that was lame'
16. His gigantic squishes
17. How he hides under the quilt in the morning and refuses to get out of bed
18. How supportive and encouraging he is
19. His Mr. Bean voice
20. What a good cook he is
21. How he never gives up
22. His beautiful grey-blue-green eyes
23. His constant need to scientifically explain things
24. How he can make a sad, gloomy day look so much better
25. The look in his eyes when he tells me that I'm beautiful
26. His big dreams
27. How much he loves his little sister
28. How respectful and honourable he is
29. His eyebrow wiggle
30. That he knew he wanted to love me and be with me for the rest of his life :)
These are just 30 reasons. Trust me, I can't even count all the reasons why I love him. But I think it's really important to notice and love the little things about your partner. Because after all, we are all just normal people. Your future husband may not buy you a castle and a white pony and give you diamonds every day. But he may wash the dishes for you and tell you that you're beautiful and be patient with you and darling, in marriage those are the things which are important. So remember that when you pick that lucky guy!
And I'm sure to people who have been married for years and years, 4 months is probably not a very big deal. Nevertheless, whether 4 months or 40 years, I personally believe not a second should be taken for a granted. 'Cos I can't imagine waking up and daddy not being there anymore. I just can't picture it. That's how much he has changed my life.
So what I am trying to say is when you find that special someone, celebrate everyday! Don't wait for birthdays and Christmas and anniversaries to celebrate. Celebrate your partner everyday! Appreciate them everyday. I guess it does get harder to do when you are living with someone and you see them everyday. But say thank you for the smallest things and mean it! The people who have to put up with us everyday are the ones who should be thanked the most I guess :D
I'm sure you're going to be a great wife :)
Love,
Mummy
P.S.- Here is a cute cheesy love song by Joshua Radin which mummy loves :)
