My 2011 (Part 2 - Finland)

Hey baby girl,

So I have started this letter many times and failed to finish writing it. I guess it has been hard and emotional to write this. Probably as it has been few of the hardest months in my life. So here I go, this time I hope I can finish it.

I landed in Finland on the 7^th of July 2011. It was summer and it was beautiful. My first few hours in Finland were like some sort of dream. I hadn’t quite realized what has happened. A part of me was sad, a part of me was excited. I just didn't know what to feel or think exactly.

The first few weeks were both fun and stressful for me. I had a great summer here. It was absolutely beautiful nature and so much to do and so many lovely things to eat! It was also lovely meeting Daddy’s family and friends. But meeting so many new people and trying to remember their faces and names was also quite stressful. And to add to that Daddy and I didn’t have a home so we lived from suitcases for a month. We didn’t have any idea of what we were going to do, where we were going to live, how we were going to support ourselves. Everything was left open for us and it was a little scary.

But the hardest part was people didn’t speak English here. So I felt thoroughly excluded from conversations. Everyone kept telling me to learn Finnish but what they didn’t realize was you can’t learn Finnish in 2 weeks. It’s one of the hardest languages to learn and I was scared that for months and months and maybe years, I would be the silent observer in ever conversation. I was also scared that I would not be able to make new friends because I wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone. But more about that later.

So having nothing except two suitcases, we prayed. Within a month, God gave us a beautiful little apartment in such a convenient location. He blessed daddy with a job in the same week! And life got started for us...

It was scary for me being a new wife. I was in a new country so things were quite unfamiliar. It's not easy being newly married and moving to a new place and having to learn so much in such little time. I didn’t know how to cook or bake. And to make things worse, in the grocery store, nothing is in English. So God and Google Translator were my best friends. And I remember telling God, “Ok Juho is going to come home from work today and I need to put some dinner on the table. What do I do??” But step by step, God helped me. I remember the fear I experienced as Daddy had his first bite of the garlic chicken I made for dinner for the first time by myself. He survived ;) Little by little, God taught me how to cook and bake, run a house and helped me adjust into my role as a wife. God is the best and most patient teacher you will find. Remember that.

But from here things started going downhill. Daddy would work very long hours. Sometimes he would leave home at 6am and come back by 10pm. And all this time, I was alone at home. I didn’t have a job, I didn’t have friends, I didn’t have family. I became very lonely. I would cry out to God asking Him, “WHY did you bring me to this place? I am just wasting away in this country. What do You want me to do here??”  Many times I would reach out to the phone to call my parents to ask them to book me a ticket back home, but every single time God said, “No. I have a plan and a purpose for your life. Don’t look back.”

I was sinking further and further into depression until after about 2 or 3 months of feeling sorry for myself I decided, NO from today I am going to surrender to God’s will. I made a decision that I am not going to complain about being in Finland or being alone. Because I am not alone. God is right here with me. I decided to love Finland, love Finnish and love Finns. I made a choice that I was not going to waste time being sad, instead I would make the best of this situation. And after all, if God brought me here, God will take me through!

I started by praying for a job. Everyone told me, you can’t speak Finnish and therefore you won’t get a job. Within 2 weeks, I got a job. I work in English and I can work from home and my boss is such a lovely person. And it was a miracle because my boss was praying for an assistant at the same time I was praying for a job!

I started praying for a church. There was an English and Finnish church we attended on and off but I felt like God asking us to join the Finnish church full-time. It didn’t make sense to me as the whole service is in Finnish and I couldn’t understand a thing. But Daddy and I obeyed God and joined the Finnish church. The moment we joined they invited us to join the worship team and help out with the youth. I was scared because how would I communicate with people? But they were so kind-hearted and caring that even though they would usually speak in Finnish, because I was there, they conducted their meetings in English too, even thought it was hard for everyone else. I felt so loved and part of their family. I led worship at our youth night and I sang in Finnish! I was SO nervous ‘cos I had no idea of what I was singing but it was still awesome to worship God in another language. Now this week I will be teaching at the youth night, in English! Yeah, God is good! And not only our church but He also opened so many doors for Daddy and I to minister in many other churches around Finland.

I then started praying for friends and God brought so many lovely people into my life. Not only that, He made it possible for my parents to visit Finland during Christmas and even for my bestfriend to come visit Finland!!

And finally, the greatest miracle. I was struggling to learn Finnish. At first, I was angry at the people around me because they were speaking in Finnish and it seemed like nobody cared I was in the room and I couldn’t understand. So I told God, ‘No. I am going to speak Finnish fluently before the end of 2012’ And you will not believe how much my Finnish has improved! It’s not perfect but I was able translate quite abit for my bestfriend here when people speak to her in Finnish. I can literally hear the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear what people are saying around me.

These last 6-7 months have been hard but also I have learned many things. We are never alone. God is always with us and if we let Him, He can move mountains around us. He had to break me first though. I had to surrender to Him. That was the hardest part, but I’m glad it happened. Cos I learned to depend on Him more and less on myself. I learned to change my attitude first, before the situation around me changed. And most of all, I learned to be brave and face challenges instead of run away from them!

And now instead of complaining about what I lost or don’t have, I thank God for what I do have. An amazing husband who has been so supportive all the way, a loving and caring family, a great church with a big heart, wonderful friends, a job I love doing and of course, the ability to speak and understand some Finnish.

God is good, baby girl. Trust in Him and He will never let you down.

….and that concludes, my 2011! 2012 is going to be even greater!

Love you always and I’m waiting for you,

Mummy