A Good Wife.

To my darling,

I've always been a little confused of the definition of a good wife. There are so many definitions floating around out there and sometimes it's overwhelming and discouraging trying to figure out who I'm supposed to be.

I have to admit, it's easy to become insecure and unsure of yourself as a woman in today's day and age. There are so many false and unrealistic images of the perfect woman or the perfect wife that too many women have forgotten what they are REALLY supposed to be like.

So I went to the one place I always find a sure answer - the Bible. And this is what I found in Proverbs 31...

So at first I was like...dude. That's one amazing woman! It's almost too good to be true! But I took a moment to translate it to today's context...

A good woman is hard to find and is worth more than diamonds,

Her husband can trust her and she doesn't betray his trust

She isn't mean or harsh to him, but gives him her all without holding anything back

She believes in giving her family the best of everything

She doesn't mind going the extra mile to bring her family joy, laughter and excitement

She doesn't sleep away the day and makes sure her family is well cared for

She wakes up each morning with a mission and a purpose

She knows how to save and invest money wisely

She is an enthusiastic worker and doesn't complain about her work

She works hard to maintain a loving and beautiful home

She is compassionate and is always ready to help those in need

She doesn't need to worry about her family because she has prepared in advance for the tough times

She puts her creativity to good use and makes her own money

She may not be a supermodel but she dresses attractively and her joy and positivity make her truly beautiful

She speaks with kindness and wisdom

She is aware of what goes on in her own home and encourages her family to be the best versions of themselves

And above all, she fears God.

The results are pretty obvious. A very happy family.

I remember when your daddy and I first got married, I had absolutely no idea how to cook. In fact, the mere thought of cooking made me lose my appetite. I was never interested in being a 'house-wife'. I always wanted a career and a life filled with excitement and traveling. Staying at home and doing laundry was not part of the plan. But somewhere in the first few months of marriage, God humbled me. He broke my proud heart and through a lot of tough experiences, I learned humility. I learned putting someone else's needs and wants above my own petty ideas. So, I learned to cook. I learned to keep a house, I learned about saving money and most of all, I learned to be unselfish. 

But even today I looked at all those things and thought, 'Wow I have a lot to change within myself if I want to be this kind of woman' Because what I truly desire now, more than a career or my own personal ambitions, is to be a godly woman. A woman that my husband and future kids can look at and say 'Many women have done wonderful things, but you have outclassed them all!' Not because of my cooking or my beauty or any other such thing, but because I fear God and it can be seen in my life.

If you are married, and you want to have a happy marriage, the first question you need to ask yourself is 'What can I do for him?' Too many marriages are focused on 'What can my husband do for me?' or 'What isn't my husband doing for me?' It is quite apparent here that the woman spoken about in this proverb had a very happy husband and children who loved and adored her, so she clearly must be doing something right! It goes without saying that husbands need to do their part too, but I am not responsible for that. I am responsible for doing my part. And I want to do my part very well.

Now don't get discouraged. You don't need to know everything about everything and be super awesome at everything you do. But the key is to try, and to try hard. Always be willing to learn and be courageous. Don't allow the fear of failure to keep you from trying. This is what I drill into my head everyday. I am quite terrible at sewing. In fact, I don't enjoy it at all. If I have a hole in my sock, I do not sew it, I buy a new pair of socks. Ha. But one decision I made after reading this was, I'm going to sew. I'm going to learn somehow and I'm going to do my best to be good at at it and enjoy it. So my first project is sewing daddy and I some bedsheets. But I remember how terrible I was at cooking and baking but with practice and a lot of encouragement, I learned and today I enjoy it ever so much!

So one day,  you too, will be a wife. And while this world tries to trick you into thinking that the happiness of your marriages lies in what your husband does or does not do for you, don't be deceived. You do your best to be the BEST-EST wife you can possibly be! Try and make your weak areas stronger and be humble in your strengths. Love, respect and honour him. Be trustworthy and generous. Work hard to keep yourself healthy and fit and work hard in general. Put your talents to good use and try and learn new things each day. Be diligent in your job and become successful in your career. Cook for your family, encourage your family and be a source of strength and joy to them! Most importantly, have a deep, intimate relationship with your Heavenly Father and let Him mold you and make you into the woman He has created you to be!

I love you, my precious. You inspire me even though you are not yet here. So thank you for that.

Love,

Mummy